| I rocked my feverish child quietly in my
arms and softly sang to him his favorite lullaby. As I sang, I thought
of dreams from years gone by.
I recently realized full maturation in my singing voice. Well into my
30's, the richness and strength of my voice has thrilled me - yet the
only ones who ever seem to hear my gift are my little ones when I sing
to them at night. I have thought what a shame it is that I am not able
to share more with those around me. During my teens I dreamed of singing
in the great concert halls and theatres of the world. I spent years developing
my talents in musical theatre and worked with some of the best directors,
conductors, and musicians in my sphere.
As I have wondered at the irony of my family being the only ones to hear
my voice (I do occasionally sing in church) I have come to the belief
that maybe the reason I was given this gift of song was simply for and
in behalf of my babies. I have used music to calm a frightened child,
soothe my babies when they are crying and bring the Spirit of God into
my home. My children have developed a deep love for music and I often
have observed my toddlers singing to their dolls.
Once when my husband and I left our little daughters (ages 5 and 2 at
the time) with a friend while we spent the night at a bed and breakfast
to celebrate our anniversary, our little daughter Allison, who had never
spent a night away from Mom, started to cry and fuss in the middle of
the night. My friend was concerned about what to do for her, and then
Michelle (our eldest daughter) woke up and began to rock her little sister
and sing to her. My friend marveled that a five-year- old would know how
to nurture and care for a little person. Yet that was all she knew- singing
and rocking to comfort and console.
I am a violent critic of "let them cry it out" parenting practices.
I believe children are permanently damaged by this type of non-nurture
and the so-called "experts" who advocate it should simply go
away. Parents who have learned to read their children's "cues"
know and understand that babies do NOT cry just to antagonize their parents.
They cry because of a specific need that should be addressed, as soon
as possible. I quickly learned from my own babies that they usually were
just lonely and wanted to be with me when they cried. A tummy full of
warm mother's milk, a gentle rocking, and a soothing lullaby were all
they generally needed to be happy again. I am so grateful that my husband
has enabled me to have the privilege of being at home with my babies while
they are nurslings. The combination of music and breastmilk has been a
wonderful way for me to nurture and love my babies. If in this earth life
I never am able to sing for the great audiences that I envisioned as a
youth, it will be all right. I have FOREVER to sing praises to my God,
but my babies will only be little for a short time. God give us all the
courage to nurture the way these children deserve and let us boldly and
proudly wear the scorn of those who feel we are "smother mothers"
and "spoilers" (you are going to spoil that baby with too much
holding!) as a badge of honor. I KNOW that I am doing a good job as a
mother based on how many times a year someone tells me I try too hard
or I hold my babies too much.
Mothers and Fathers…. Invest in a rocking chair, learn a few lullabies,
nurture, hold, cherish, love and give your babies exactly what they deserve-
a quiet song and a tummy full of warm mommies milk.
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